hey!

hello fellow blogger!!!
its been a while...

im not that busy...
just dont know the topic i should post or i should share...

but one thing for sure i hate a group of people right now.
just discover something on facebook specifically (picture)
i dont know the essence of those pic until when i read the caption on it.
i dont hate them personally i just hate why make that event sooooo important!!!
i thought it was just an ordinary.
but friends celebrated it extraordinarily!
i never thought such event (binigyan nila ng halaga at importansya)
shyeeettt!!!

who cares anyway!

NATAL DAY! (sept 27)

i woke up with warak2x day
because i know i can't rely on people to make me feel this day so special...
so in just a simple way i celebrate it by my own...
about 4:30pm i went first to church before going school.
talk to PAPA GOD crying the whole time =(
and i don't know why im crying in-front the Eucharist.
and i wish for something not for myself but for my family specially my mom.
then light a candle then ask for help for my exam (naa ko sched exam during my bday)


then pag-abot school god really answer my prayer!!! yehey god is god!!!
in a way he made me smile ;)

my day ended up with NGANGA! hehehe but its ok im used to it NGANGA!!! ;)

haggard look

taken last sept 15,2011
i arrived late at school. good thing because our instructor was busy preparing for our foundation day ;)
just when i open the door everybody was so shock nak look!!!
and im not aware with my looks.
they keep on teasing me
"tobz tikang ka gad agway"
"anu tobz kulang collection"
"tobz mahangin sa labas?"
i didn't even notice they were taking pictures.
when i got home yung mga gago they upload my pixs! just take a look!

they put a caption "suklay nasaan ka"

just when i found out i didnt even comb my hair before leaving the house hahaha
was just so lazy this day.
i dont feel like doing anything
just want to lay in my bed sleep.
because i was so exhausted tired and stress!!!

when you just wanna die...

have you ever think to commit suicide?
the most ultimate escape of your problems.
i wanted to go to sleep and never wake-up.
but it never happen...
i wanted to "end it all"
like hanging myself,but too much trouble buying rope hehe.
i love pain actually im used to live with pain but stabbing my chest or slitting my wrist things which i could not do. ewww!
i even fantasized wresting a gun from my classmate, point the gun on my head and pull the trigger. but i know he could pin me on the ground before i could pull the gun out.
then i hit upon a perfect method to overdose myself.
but what terrifies me what lies after my death.
im not afraid to go to hell.
what im afraid of when i meet god and he ask me.
"why did you take your life? i'm so disappointed in you"


GOD IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME, KILL ME RIGHT NOW!!!

you've change

Things changed...
People changed...
you change...

we used to talk for hours
and now I'm lucky to talk to you for few minutes a day.

you used to want to be with me
and now you make it seems like you're always too busy.

i remember the jokes,smile,laugh we shared.
and i doubt you remember any of that.
;)

...NO TITLE...

Many people think I’m strong because of the struggles I’ve been, the problems I’ve encountered, the pain I’ve felt. But they’re wrong ’cause inside me is a weak heart, but behind it… is a strong and big GOD. HE is bigger than the greatest need of your heart... greater than anything you can imagine.

ako ay ako

simple akong tao...
mamabaw kaligayahan ko...

sa pagkain di ako mapili
chubby at safari kuntento na ako
lalo pa sa mik2 at fishbal sa kanto

mahilig ako tumawa...
mahilig din ako magpatawa...
minsan masasabi mo para akong baliw...
hindi ako mabilis masaktan
kaya naman hindi ako mabilis magalit.
kung magalit man ako mabilis ako makalimot
ngunit meh mga bagay na malalim ang epekto,
kahit anong gawin mu di ka makalimot…

sa kaibigan hindi ako mapili
maybarkada ako addict
may barkada ako sosyal
maybarkadang kalog
may barkada ako nerd
may barkada ako matatalino at matino
may barkada ako saksakan sa kabobohan
ibat ibang klase man kaibigan ko nanatili ako ay ako...

sa emosyon di mo ako mababasa...
kung akoy galit nakatawa parin...
kung ako umaapoy sa galit tahimik lang
ehhh pano kung ako'y broken hearted???
wala lang ;)

THERE'S NO OTHER PATH BUT TO BECOME A LAWYER IKA NGA "maghintay ka lamang"

GETTING HOOKED TO THIS SONG!!!


Kung hindi ngayon
Ang panahon
Na para sa iyo
Huwag maiinip
Dahil ganyan
Ang buhay sa mundo

Huwag mawawalan ng pag-asa
Darating din ang ligaya
Ang isipin mo'y may bukas pa
Na mayroong saya

Kabigua'y hindi hadlang upang tumakas ka
Huwag kang iiwas 'pag nabibigo
Dapat na lumaban ka

Ang kailangan mo'y tibay ng loob
Kung mayrong pagsubok man
Ang liwanag ay 'di magtatagal
At muling mamasdan
Ikot ng mundo ay hindi laging pighati't kasawian
Ang pangarap mo ay makakamtan
Basta't maghintay ka lamang


I KNOW SOMEDAY I WOULD BECOME SOMEONE THAT I WOULD BE PROUD OF...
NOT ONLY ME BUT ALSO MY FAMILY...
JUST WAIT LYNLYN..JUST WAIT...
IKA NGA "ANG PANGARAP MO AY MAKAKAMTAN BASTA'T MAGHINTAY KA LAMANG"


THERE'S NO OTHER PATH FOR ME BUT TO BECOME A LAWYER

aug 18,2011 1:21am

damn!!! emo mode again!!!
duh...
reading a book title "how to mend a broken heart!"
shyettt!!!
my sistah bought this book!

pockie ninja

gosh getting addicted to pockie ninja!!!
its 3am time to sleep!

tang ina

if you can't afford to be honest stay SINGLE!!!

for broken hearted

This is for the broken hearted.
I know how you feel.
Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever.
You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help,
but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse.
You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that,
but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too.
You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you,
it feels impossible to stop loving them.
And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much,
then why do you still love them.
That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do,
and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most.
And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief,
like you're getting happy again,
but you know inside that you're just going into denial.
And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes.
You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it.
And you can't help but to show it again.
It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever.
And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt,
no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them
And even if it has, every broken heart is different.
They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now,
so you learn that basically you are alone with all this.
And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's.
Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection.
And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place.
After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going.
Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back.
Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't.
And that’s the truth, it won’t.
And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible.
You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay.
So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it.
And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this.

dear lie

you really suck!!!
think you could fix anything, instead you made things worse from me.
you tell me truth hurts me
the hell its you "LIE" that hurt me most!!!

your nothing but trouble...
your nothing but to complicate things!
you have nothing to offer but
to hurt my feeling
and to broke my fragile heart!

note: truth set us free,,, "LIE" just complicate things!!!

THINGS YOU DONT KNOW WONT HURT YOU!!!

sometimes its better to be clueless about what is happening around you,
than to know every bit of information that would silently kill you.


=(
=(
=(
=(
=(

hopeless romantic girl (july 19,2011 12:40pm)

Dear heart, I’m sorry,
I break you again,
like many times before

Dear heart, I’m sorry,
I try not to get you involved,
but that it seems impossible for me

Dear heart, I’m sorry,
I try not to give you any scars
and keep you save from the pain

Dear heart, I’m sorry,
there’s nothing more I can do
it is just how I love,with all of you

Dear heart, I’m sorry,
I wish I could love with my mind only
and let you out of this

Dear heart, I’m sorry,
but we’re in this together
like always

Dear heart, I’m sorry,
please hanging there for me
I’ll make it up to you

Dear heart, I’m sorry,
it hurts…

I KNOW!!! I KNOW!!!

old meaning of SORRY=i wont do it again.
new meaning of SORRY=damn i got caught.next time i needa be more careful!!!


that hey im that stupid enough
i know what your doing!
it was pretty obvious what im trying to say but still he conceals it!

why is it happening right now?
why not before?
is it because im too busy
is it because i dont have time?
and now looking for extra curricular activities?

nwei anyhow what ever it is?
i still cant justify the reason behind
why he's doing this...

or its just his nature being a LIAR!!??

need a good samaritan

prelims exams is coming
still I'm broke...
wanted to give-up my phone but still i don't have a buyer =(

fellow blogger pls. help me!
I'm selling my samsung Corby

=(
=(
=(

numb heart <-- i need one!

what do you understand the word sorry?

it means asking for forgiveness
means i wont do it again.

but what do call you to the people who always say sorry
leaving a promise that they wont do it again.
but still hurts you the same way he did before.

his immaturity hurts me alot!
such a lame person!

july 10 12:35pm

why do i always end up to guy who don't know how to treat me right???

ANG HIRAP SPELLINGIN ATTITUDE MO PRE!!!
DONT PUSH ME COZ IM CLOSE TO EDGE!!!

CTRL + ALT + DEL.
CONTROL yourself,
look for an ALTernate solution,
and DELete the situation that hurts you

july 10,2011 1:00am

its about 1am
do i deserve be treated like this?
dear heart...
im sorry if your hurt again!!!
im sorry for his selfishness
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry if his treatment hurts you!
im sorry
im sorry


(updates...)
my whole week was so stressing!
study study study

and just meet my long lost friend mary grace

dear heart,,,

im sorry if he hurts you...
im sorry if his immaturity hurts you...
im sorry if all the words that has been said and done hurts you...
im sorry if everything hurts...

please stop beating...
so i'll stop living and you wont feel any pain again. ;)

from:
ms. suicider! (lynlyn)

curse

june 28,2011
its my mom's birthday
and having a bad night...
and it really tear my heart
when i receive a text message
telling me "gagabaan ka gihap"
i really dont know how to react but i just leave a smile before i say gudnyt...

(sigh)
(sigh)
(sigh)

stuck!

trying to figure out everything...
as in everything!!!

MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA AT ANG SAKIT SAKIT NA...

May mga bagay na panahon lang ang makakapagturo sayo.
Tulad kung gano mo kamahal ang isang tao.
Madalas malalaman mo lang kung gano mo sya kamahal pag wala na sya sayo.
Umaasa ka na lang na sa paglipas ng panahon, maibabalik mo kung anong nawala sayo.
O kung hindi na maibabalik ang dati,
babaguhin na lang ng panahon ang lahat ng bagay.
Pero bakit hindi binabago ng panahon ang puso mo?

Bakit kahit alam mong tapos na ang lahat pilit mong binabalikan yung simula at lagi mo tinatanong:

Pano kaya kung mas minahal ko sya?
Pano kaya kung hindi mo nalang sya minahal?
Pano kaya kung hindi nalang kayo nagkakilala para mabura nalang siya sa ala-ala mo? Pano kaya kung noong nagkatagpo kayo,
ibang tao ka at ibang tao rin sya,
sa ibang pagkakataon,
sa ibang lugar,sa ibang panahon.
Maiba din kaya ang tadhana nyo?
Kamay mo ba ang hawak nya?
Pangalan mo na ba ang bukang bibig nya?
Ikaw na ba ang nasa tabi nya?
Ikaw na ba ang kayakap nya?
Ikaw na ba ang mga dahilan ng mga ngiti nya?

(ITS BEEN A YEAR BUT I CAN STILL FEEL THE PAIN)

hooked up

just listening to the song "miss you like crazy"
=(
=(
=(
=(
=(
to the person out there...
your still the best pain i ever had.

-march 1,2011 when i found out about your wedding (just 1 year after you leave me alone)
i cried so much. been telling to my self i should be the one beside you, i should be the one who's wearing that wedding dress i should be the one who's using that family name. IT SHOULD BE ME!!!

-just this may 2011 i found out also about your baby juriss... I'm happy for you and hope your happy with your life now. sorry for unsolicited visit on your sites i know i should stop it... anyway good luck to your chosen endeavor...

sex, sex , sex

How many times a week do you have sex? Okay, maybe we need to back it up a bit: How many times a month do you have sex? If you can't answer that one, you definitely need to read this.

How about this question: Do you enjoy the sex that you have? Are you sexually satisfied in your relationship? Here's an even better one: how often do you orgasm?


What if I told you that having sex, actually enjoying it, and especially orgasming multiple times a week is related to numerous health benefits, emotional well-being, and even a longer life! Would you put down the computer and head off to the bedroom?


Well, as you might have guessed, an active sex life is associated with a lot of great things, both physical and psychological.


Whatever you do today, try and make time for sex tonight! hehehehe

connect-connect

just this day i found out!!!
the answer i've been looking for...
with just a piece of paper
it answers all those
hanging questions!!!
blah blah blah

(malapit talaga ako kay lord)
hehehehe....

youtuberz

pls. vivit www.youtube.com/zxyvhen for videoblog
(sorry cant change my URL its my old account)

google search: tobz101
zxyvhen101
zxyvhen

goodbye fellow

i've decided...
just this moment...
and its final..
i know they would not understand me...
but i dont care (sound selfish)

just to stop the feeling of bitterness
and to stop thinking that "life is unfair"

this is the only way...

you can run but you cannot hide

don't wanna open may Facebook ...
don't wanna see updates from my friends from my old friends from the person who's been part in past life.

they're having peaceful life,contended, successful career
and here i am miserable,alone and hopeless!!!


BITTER!!!!

L O V E

breaks your heart, makes you cry,and emphasizes the weakness you fight to hide.



But you take it and give in.....



Simply because, deadly things,



Even for a while....



Deceitfully feels right. :'(

you never did anything but i find you extremely annoying!

hate that...at the early part of our relationship he made me cry :(

i was crying the whole day :(

but what i really hate... i care and im starting get jealous :(

B-I-T-T-E-R

bitter!!!
always bitter!!!
forever bitter!!!

the hell!

there are lot of things bothering me right now!!!

wish!!!

hope i wont wake-up tomorrow...
hate having A MISERABLE LIFE...
=(

Watcha' think?

Do I deserve to be HAPPY?

live love and die

even the most understanding person in the world also gets tired.. Give importance to those people who love and care for you,coz' they are the one's who will be beside you,when the whole world condemns you.. And if you don't,you might see yourself,all alone..

LoNeLiNess+ cold weather+ tired

i must and i will be okay or just even pretend to be one,though my world is tearing me apart,and even though everything's messed up.. You, me, them and the situation.. Guess I'm gonna fight this battle, Alone.. :'(

fears

im just afraid to trust too much...
to believe in everything,
it might gone to waste...
or worst it would mess up my life...

life...

Life changes every minute of everyday. You lose friends, you gain friends.
You realize your friend wasn't really your friend. And that person you used to hate can make a really good friend.
You look for love. You find love. You lose love. You realize that all along you've been loved.
You laugh, you cry. You do this, you do that. You really wish you hadn't done that.
You learn from that and are glad that you did.
You have your ups, you have your downs.
You see good movies, you see bad movies.
You look at others and wish you were them.
You then realize who they are and are glad that you're you.
You love life, you hate life.
In the end you just find yourself to be living life no matter what's thrown at you.

DSLR

its almost 3 years!!!
since i planned to buy DSLR camera!
been reading a lot of tutorials thru net
and i even enrolled myself last 2009 for photo-shoot tutorials
the heck... cant even save a single centavo for this!
D90 or D80!!!

behind the 3months rule

do you know the 3 months rule?
would you still care about that before you enter the relationship?
how bout if you discover that the day you were officially it was only few days before they broke-up or lets just say there was no official break-up it was just "implied"
would you feel some fear that he might do it to you the same way he did to his past?
what i mean "yung parang damit ganun ganun lang" just like what ASSHOLE did to me.
is it really important that before you enter in a relationship you would know the timeline of his past relationship? how bout if its complicated of course it would drive you nuts viewing the timeline of his relationship...
how bout the timeline he's telling was not the real one...
how bout if you discover the real timeline.
as time goes...by chance or just accidentaly i was able to connect every lil details.
don't have the courage to open the topic or even ask him.
as of now i wont give a damn to this issue.
i wont look for any details that would just bother me except if someone would inform me without asking or by chance i would discover details without finding them.
because id rather stick to the sayings
THINGS YOU DONT KNOW WONT HURT YOU!
AND ITS NON OF MY DAMN BUSINESS!

sigh

you cant change
what's already happen

shit things

your a jerk!!! an asshole and immature!!!
you dont make sense and sometimes i just want to strangle you.
but on the top of that i just want to let you know
that your my EVERYTHING!

no one has an idea!!!
no one has an idea how badly i wish...
how badly i wish that...

actually no one knows the real me...
no one could understand me...

does anyone can tell the real me behind my smiling face?
NO ONE!!! cause no one has an idea what im really going thru

transparent

"rather show the true you than making me believe which is not you"

being someone which is not you in-front of me is easy to do.
but hard to do if im not with you. ;)

...NO TITLE...

I WANT TO LOVE SOMEONE WHOSE HEART HAS BEEN BROKEN,
SO HE KNOWS EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS...
AND HE WONT BREAK MINE

mind over heart

my heart knows things that my mind cant explain

smurf brain

We lose people we love because they are meant to love someone else.
We lose them because we are destined to find somebody else.
It is a simple fact that is sometimes hard to accept because we are too stupid to let go.

but its complicated

Sometimes people decide to just be friends,
even if their feeling is mutual.
Not because love is hard to sustain,
but because commitment complicates everything.