i love my life thou everything was going wrong...
yet i still love my life...
i love everything i have now
and contented everything i own.
i love my life thou im all alone...
i may have have a lonely life
but i enjoy having this.
life is great!
-lyn-
Thursday, April 16, 2009
wIsH to meet mr. right guy
how i wish i would meet my mr. right guy
ive been waiting him for so long, i keep on searching for my mr.right guy...
who is my mr.right guy?
does he look like brod ----?
would he care for me and put me above his priorities?
would he share his moments with me rather than leave me and look for wealth?
would he accept me inside and out?
would he love me and never hurt me?
i realy cant wait the day i would sing to him this line from a song..."how did know i needed someone like you in my life......" sh!t for some reason i cant continue the lyrics it made me cry. i really wanted to meet my mr. right guy bisan "buta" basta di ak babayaan.=(
(sigh)
-lyn-
ive been waiting him for so long, i keep on searching for my mr.right guy...
who is my mr.right guy?
does he look like brod ----?
would he care for me and put me above his priorities?
would he share his moments with me rather than leave me and look for wealth?
would he accept me inside and out?
would he love me and never hurt me?
i realy cant wait the day i would sing to him this line from a song..."how did know i needed someone like you in my life......" sh!t for some reason i cant continue the lyrics it made me cry. i really wanted to meet my mr. right guy bisan "buta" basta di ak babayaan.=(
(sigh)
-lyn-
Monday, April 13, 2009
obsessive compulsive disorder
I have Obsessive compulsive disorder,i think i may have a mild case of it when it comes to particular things... ive gotten over most of them... for example...
=i checks everthing obsessively and cannot leave the house without returning several times to check if i locked doors, turned off appliances, etc.
=i also washes my hands until they are raw and sore
=I'm the type of person that when I'm doing something it HAS to be a certain way. And if I'm doing something and someone comes over to 'try to help me' I get more irritated than thankful.
I can say that I actually have stupid quirks that I do. I learned I had OCD when most of the people sorounds me says i have OCD even my family tease me na OC ako.
=I couldn't sleep because when I closed my eyes I would start obsessing over things that you and I "normally" think about like bills, tuitions, budget for the next couple of months, mga panbili ng luho etc. etc.
=I would clean during those hours that I was supposed to be sleeping and crying during the hours I was to be awake.
=I dont walk with barefoot anywhere.
=I have a hard time sitting still, especially when I look around and always see something that needs to be done.
=I am obsessive about our floors being clean, and vaccuum alot. I like everything picked up and put in it's proper place when not in use, and it drives me nuts when the house is messy.
=all of my thing are arrange properly my files everything in my room and even things in my bag.in my wallet everything is organize ,even in office my things inside my pedestal are always arrange.
=i dont use public utensils when i eat in restaurant i always request for a diposable one and sa carenderia i bring my own utensils hahaha sounds nuts! but its true.
=i dont use straw in softdrinks sometimes if i dont have choice sinisilip ko butas ng straw and hinihipan ko para kung my germs atlest na-alis ko hehe
=i always get angry to my boyfriend pag nakikita ko things nya and files nya kalat sa laptop bag niya cguro ako lang yata ng aayus ng mga gamit niya ganun cxa ka tamad.
=i also get angry with my boyfriend if i see his wallet hindi nka arrange at ang dami kalat (ex.receipts)
=i always get angry pag yung gamit was not returned in their proper place.i really hate it! kahit parents ko pinapagalitan ko pagsila ang hindi makasauli gamit.
=and i have this new obsession i dont wear clothes except white,black,green and brown other than that di ko sinusu-ot.
=i have this obssesion in writing all the thing to do all my plans everything! to elaborate this... what im talking about is my organizer na lage ko dala dala.inside this all the things i should do the next day for next week all my plans, thing to buy, everything! i also list down my ambitions and the benefiaciary if ever i get rich.there was one time acedintaly my mother read my organizer at sabi nya loka loka ako ng nabasa nya lahat ng nakasulat.even my friend nabasa nya (d ko talaga pinapabasa organizer ko pero madami pakealamera) after she read my organizer she tease me na "lurong" me.
=another thing everytime i use a glass (ex. restaurant)...girl lage yan my kasama punas ng tissue sa edge ng glass (arte noh?)
=pag nangungulangot boyfriend ko at nakita ko tinapon lng kung saan saan sh!t hahanapin ko pa talaga yun at papapulutin ko at papatapon ko pa sa trashcan yung kulangot.hahhaha so crazy!
=since i was young organizado ako. ayaw ko ng kalat everything is organize,since child mahilig na ako magligpit so no wonder kahit mga drawing book ko since 3yrs old nakatago pa. hahahha there was one time i use to keep my things sa mahiwagang baul.kahit anu ka ek-ekan then sa sobra dami ka ek-ekan ayun yung mahiwagang baul ko binahayan ng ahas hehe. hindi ko rin kaya mgtapon ng mga gamit which has sentimental value even my costumize paper doll till now nakatago pa. mga periodical exam ko and projects from grade I upto my college years nakatago pa and take note naka file yan ng maayos.
=yung family ko malimit lang pumasok sa room ko. first kc kahit wala ngsabi na my pumasok at nakilam sa things ko malalaman ko.weird but its true nalalaman ko agad if my ginalaw na gamit ko.second i always get angry pag ginalaw nla gamit ko i dont know basta ayaw ko ginagalaw gamit ko with out my consent.
=before i have this awful quirks i dont buy foods that was sold sa tabi-tabi para sakin madumi ko.example foods sold in grandstand.before i dont eat kwek-kwek hehe i dont eat bbq kung saan saan kundi sa pindoko lang kc classmate ko anak ng may-ari. i dont eat banana-q camote-q binebenta ng mga vendors outside sa school.even buko juice etc. but that was before... ng medyo napansin ko medyo alangan na classmates ko sa akin kaartehan so i learn makisama hehe sa ngayun kumakain na rin ako mga benebenta sa tabi-tabi pero not that much.
=before pag inuman lage ako my dala tissue pan punas...pan punas ng baso isang baso kc para sa amin lahat iikot if its my turn sa edge na pagiinuman ko pupunasan ko muna (hahhaha arte!)
=hehe ito nakakaloka malig ako maglinis ng tenga ko hindi ako mabubuhay ng walang cotton buds gusto kc lage malinis tenga ko about 3 to 4 cotton buds nagagamit ko everyday! as in everyday!.=)
I have to say that as I reread all of this with an empty mind, I would say the person writing this is nuts, but in reality this is my everyday life. I cannot touch things or eat foods because of contamination, so on and so forth.sometimes It comes and it goes.
I am currently having a bad day and I really look for answers to my stupid quirks.I just don't know how to overcome them, or why I have them in the first place. There seems to be no rhyme or reason behind it all. Sometimes I think I'm losing control when I'm really bad and I just don't know how to help myself.
=i checks everthing obsessively and cannot leave the house without returning several times to check if i locked doors, turned off appliances, etc.
=i also washes my hands until they are raw and sore
=I'm the type of person that when I'm doing something it HAS to be a certain way. And if I'm doing something and someone comes over to 'try to help me' I get more irritated than thankful.
I can say that I actually have stupid quirks that I do. I learned I had OCD when most of the people sorounds me says i have OCD even my family tease me na OC ako.
=I couldn't sleep because when I closed my eyes I would start obsessing over things that you and I "normally" think about like bills, tuitions, budget for the next couple of months, mga panbili ng luho etc. etc.
=I would clean during those hours that I was supposed to be sleeping and crying during the hours I was to be awake.
=I dont walk with barefoot anywhere.
=I have a hard time sitting still, especially when I look around and always see something that needs to be done.
=I am obsessive about our floors being clean, and vaccuum alot. I like everything picked up and put in it's proper place when not in use, and it drives me nuts when the house is messy.
=all of my thing are arrange properly my files everything in my room and even things in my bag.in my wallet everything is organize ,even in office my things inside my pedestal are always arrange.
=i dont use public utensils when i eat in restaurant i always request for a diposable one and sa carenderia i bring my own utensils hahaha sounds nuts! but its true.
=i dont use straw in softdrinks sometimes if i dont have choice sinisilip ko butas ng straw and hinihipan ko para kung my germs atlest na-alis ko hehe
=i always get angry to my boyfriend pag nakikita ko things nya and files nya kalat sa laptop bag niya cguro ako lang yata ng aayus ng mga gamit niya ganun cxa ka tamad.
=i also get angry with my boyfriend if i see his wallet hindi nka arrange at ang dami kalat (ex.receipts)
=i always get angry pag yung gamit was not returned in their proper place.i really hate it! kahit parents ko pinapagalitan ko pagsila ang hindi makasauli gamit.
=and i have this new obsession i dont wear clothes except white,black,green and brown other than that di ko sinusu-ot.
=i have this obssesion in writing all the thing to do all my plans everything! to elaborate this... what im talking about is my organizer na lage ko dala dala.inside this all the things i should do the next day for next week all my plans, thing to buy, everything! i also list down my ambitions and the benefiaciary if ever i get rich.there was one time acedintaly my mother read my organizer at sabi nya loka loka ako ng nabasa nya lahat ng nakasulat.even my friend nabasa nya (d ko talaga pinapabasa organizer ko pero madami pakealamera) after she read my organizer she tease me na "lurong" me.
=another thing everytime i use a glass (ex. restaurant)...girl lage yan my kasama punas ng tissue sa edge ng glass (arte noh?)
=pag nangungulangot boyfriend ko at nakita ko tinapon lng kung saan saan sh!t hahanapin ko pa talaga yun at papapulutin ko at papatapon ko pa sa trashcan yung kulangot.hahhaha so crazy!
=since i was young organizado ako. ayaw ko ng kalat everything is organize,since child mahilig na ako magligpit so no wonder kahit mga drawing book ko since 3yrs old nakatago pa. hahahha there was one time i use to keep my things sa mahiwagang baul.kahit anu ka ek-ekan then sa sobra dami ka ek-ekan ayun yung mahiwagang baul ko binahayan ng ahas hehe. hindi ko rin kaya mgtapon ng mga gamit which has sentimental value even my costumize paper doll till now nakatago pa. mga periodical exam ko and projects from grade I upto my college years nakatago pa and take note naka file yan ng maayos.
=yung family ko malimit lang pumasok sa room ko. first kc kahit wala ngsabi na my pumasok at nakilam sa things ko malalaman ko.weird but its true nalalaman ko agad if my ginalaw na gamit ko.second i always get angry pag ginalaw nla gamit ko i dont know basta ayaw ko ginagalaw gamit ko with out my consent.
=before i have this awful quirks i dont buy foods that was sold sa tabi-tabi para sakin madumi ko.example foods sold in grandstand.before i dont eat kwek-kwek hehe i dont eat bbq kung saan saan kundi sa pindoko lang kc classmate ko anak ng may-ari. i dont eat banana-q camote-q binebenta ng mga vendors outside sa school.even buko juice etc. but that was before... ng medyo napansin ko medyo alangan na classmates ko sa akin kaartehan so i learn makisama hehe sa ngayun kumakain na rin ako mga benebenta sa tabi-tabi pero not that much.
=before pag inuman lage ako my dala tissue pan punas...pan punas ng baso isang baso kc para sa amin lahat iikot if its my turn sa edge na pagiinuman ko pupunasan ko muna (hahhaha arte!)
=hehe ito nakakaloka malig ako maglinis ng tenga ko hindi ako mabubuhay ng walang cotton buds gusto kc lage malinis tenga ko about 3 to 4 cotton buds nagagamit ko everyday! as in everyday!.=)
I have to say that as I reread all of this with an empty mind, I would say the person writing this is nuts, but in reality this is my everyday life. I cannot touch things or eat foods because of contamination, so on and so forth.sometimes It comes and it goes.
I am currently having a bad day and I really look for answers to my stupid quirks.I just don't know how to overcome them, or why I have them in the first place. There seems to be no rhyme or reason behind it all. Sometimes I think I'm losing control when I'm really bad and I just don't know how to help myself.
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