blame yourself airhead!

blah blah blah
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
STOP HURTING ME!
COZ I DONT DESERVE THIS!

life is NOT fair! but it doesn't matter to me ;)
im happy and contented the things that i have...

updates...

busy with my final exams!
done with my two subjects...
quite busy coz lots of activities...
but despite of my busy schedule i still have time magmuni-muni hehe
my ritual ;)

-just watching the new release gadgets for 2010 i really love ipod nano but before saving money for ipod nano i have to save first for my glasses.

-lastweek my uncle on my mother side was admitted at st.pauls hospital because of mild stroke.

-last september my nephew was diagnos of hydrocephalus "water in the brain"

-recently my sister was diagnos of cerebral palsy

-my mom ---> neuritis and having an abnormal blood flow.

-right now my father is suffering back pain and sometimes he cant even move his legs, we dont know the reason cause laboratory results "NEGATIVE".

-me? ohhh pain in my heart hehhee joke! im just busy and dont have time mapaka emo =P

I DONT WANT TO GROW OLD WITH YOU...

cause i dont see myself being happy with you.
cause i dont trust you...and will never trust you.
just want to expect something worst.
and just want to set in my mind that you would always cheat and cheat and cheat.
you told me that you would never do those things you did in your past relationship.
that's a bunch of bull!

enough that i wont expect anything. dont want this relationship to grow. after all i really dont trust you... AIRHEAD!

WHY LIE???

just to give me peace of mind???
coz you dont want to hurt me?
coz you care?
though it pretty obvious you LYING!
im not that STUPID to believe in you ASSHOLE!

hate this feeling...

the feeling of being second best.
dont want to compare my self...
cause its like saying "BITTER!!!"

i feel alone right now.

got lots of friend but no one to talk, glad that i have my journal. were i can freely tell all my problems in life.
i don't have a friend that would be there for me every time i need them, glad i have GOD that would protect me.
i have family but cant feel their presence glad to have this gadgets coz I'm no longer longing for their love and care!

why would i care to those people who don't care me at all!!! SAHO!

im used being alone...

10-11-10

dont know if im special... coz he treat other girls just the way he treat me.

10-07-10

is so easy for you to say "I LOVE YOU"...
but why is it so hard for me to believe in you???

10-07-10

is so easy for you to say "I LOVE YOU"...
but why is it so hard for me to believe in you????

naive???

do they deserve this?
do i have to hurt them?
after i make them fall for me...
i left them for no reason...
why?
after what happen to me i think all guys really deserve what im doing!
every time i hurt them i thought i could see smile in my face...
but i was wrong!

they call me NAIVE...

this what my friend say:"kung galit ka sa kanya wag ka gumanti sa ibang tao inocente...kasi di nila kasalan ang ginawa ng X mo.at hindi lahat ng lalaki gaya ng X mo"

WTF!!!!!

forgot my serial #!!!!
now im just using trial version (anti-virus)
ohhhh sh!T!!!!
dont how to recover my old version???

trust- once broken you cannot restore it as before

all guys cheat!!!
they're not loyal
they're not faithful
they always flirt every time your not around.

i really find hard to trust and to love again

there's no such thing as MR.Right (admit it lyn)

im lost

yesterday was my special day but it turned out to be my worst day... feels like I'm alone i just stayed home after my exam cause I'm broke and I don't feel OK.

feels like i don't belong... feels like I'm all alone... I'm surrounded with friends,with my family but still I'm looking for happiness with someone. i go with him or him or him or him but I'm not that happy i don't know what I'm looking for.all i know there's a part of me that's missing.i try to find it to someone who's willing to give happiness, but the happiness is not enough.feels like I'm a LOST SOUL... with no direction... an empty one... its so hard living in this world na pinagkakasya ko lang sarili ko sa pagmamahal na kaya lang ibigay. para akong isang ulila.=(

hope i could be contented living all alone,hope one day i wake-up and accept everything.


now that I'm 25! my wish???"hope this would be my last birthday" cause I'm really sick and tired of being sick and tired.

natal day

adlaw han akon kapa-nga-nakan

yana an adlaw han akon katawo igwawaray waray ko it akon pag-istorya naK mga binuhat HINI NA ADLAW

................................
tungod han kapaso ngan sirak han adlaw ako inin nagmata. lumusad tikang ha kwarto dumiretso tikadto kusina ngan ini nagtimpla ako kape... han sige ako higop han kape gin abrihan ko an TV gindungan ko gihap pag-abri han akon "paa-bawbaw" or mas kilala ha "laptop" ngan inin ako nag "nawong libro".waray ko sabuta an oras ipangara-on na ngay-an hin pani-ngudto. lumusad ako ngan nag-abre hiN delata human ko ka-on bumalik ako pag "nawong libro" waray ko naliwat sabuta ORAS igpaniri-hapon na ngay-an. lumusad ako ngan ako nahulog pagmata ko sapit ko hi san pedro nakita ko na gamit niya nak "paa-bawbaw" ngan paghiling ko nag "nawong libro" hiya... nagstroke ako pagmata ko amo pala nak pakasabot na inop la ngay-an tanan adto....hehehe non-sense... BLAH BLAH BLAH

IF YOU CANT LOVE ME ATLEAST DONT HURT ME

it takes a thousand sweet efforts to build a great relationship,yet one fatal error can destroy everything you have started.

maybe i was expecting so much from him and now I'm disappointed after what i have found out.

its not time to have arguments because he's suffering tonsillitis


"angan2 maupay kala! nga angab ka! kay kastigado ka"

try

i tried...
...
...
...
...
...
...
is all i can say... =(

would somebody help me???

...
I'm busy searching herbal products or medicines for my mom ;(

pls help me..help me pray for my mom...
thanks

im back ;)

its been a while since my last blog post. =D
been busy this past few months.
busy preparing and organizing our law night and we make things possible despite "mga libak ha am" partly disappointed but in the end happy because they were able to appreciate ;)
been busy also bout our prelims cramming in reading and catching up our lessons. our last examination was labor the hec with ?????! where did he get that fuckin questions! out of this world! and just realize the problem was not on me but on our professor.
also busy last June fiesta lots of activities..and im always drunk ;)
and speaking of being drunk just yesterday about 3:30am at astrodome!!!! i guess that would be my most embarrassing moment for the rest of my life! and would be absent for a couple of days or week just to heal the wounds.

final game

a breath taking game watching 4th quarter..

at the end lakers won!

but still i love celtics!

...well... well ...well...

We lose health to make money & lose money to restore health. In thinking anxiously of the future, we forget the present. We live as if we will never die & we die as if we have never lived. Life is precious, live it day after day with contentment and lasting satisfaction. Life is beautiful, even if it is complicated. Life is gift, take it as it comes and appreciate it. After all, we only have one life to live.

just the way it is

jovit baldivino just won the PGT!!!
i knew it! i really knew it!
i love him the way he sing the charisma and most especially the voice

AND just laSt week COMELEC proclaim the new president and vice president
hmmmm glad that the candidates i voted was the one who won election

but so disappointed on senators!
HEC! why did they proclaim senators just week after the election
when canvassing is not yet done!
TINUYAW!

the hell who vote LITO LAPID! and BONG REVILLA they're all idiots!

PACMAN planning going to school and LANI MERCADO to learn more bout their jobs!
what!? pagarugaru for that position!
next time pls. dont run for any position if you dont have any idea about LAW.
heler! nasa house of representatives ka kaya!
kun kelan na elect axa pag skwela! DRE TUHAY!

im sick`

what a bad day...

wasn't able to sleep last night
nag-aga nalang nagsiga la ghap mata ko
whaaa... napalurong!

i count 100 sheeps,,read books (the best sleeping pills)
whew 5;30am siga la ghap mata ko wahhhh

hays its all because of my cough,flu,colds!

06-12-10

as usual I'm always late...
di manla na appreciate effort ko pagdali
and usual ako lage sumsuman

from ate joy fiesta punta kami carnaval ;D
wasn't able to ride sea dragon
kc hurri cane pla lifung na ulo...

hahays... so excited sa sea dragon
cge lang halaba pa June =D

picture will e uploaded sa multiply SOON!

and pls. check out my twitter account for my schedule hehe

totaly broke

no money for school entrance

but i was able to buy new slippers!

yehey just bought it a while a ago!

stroke si mother hehehe

love it! blehh

pissed off

i dont know what's wrong with me
i get easily arritated... being impatience
ohhh what's happening to me right now

dont want to talk to anybody
-->hangover i guess

i enjoyed last night and looking forward for our next gimik

sea dragon hope it would come true!!!! whew!

bad news and good news

2pm my classmate texted me "6 lang pumasa sa --- subj"

i lose my hope deep inside of me im telling to my self "accept it...you didn't make it"
but about 4:23 a friend of mine MYRA texted me "wow,pasar ka!"

hays feel so relieve...i made it! yes!

the bad news... 95% of not going to law school this year.

i texted my aunt asking for my income as of MAY 2010 (need money for enrolment)
but she just tell me that to stop going to law school.
im totaly broke right now =(

its 3:34am cant sleep,
here i am right now battling alone....

to do nothing is the way to be nothing

summer is over!

schedule wasn't follow =(

im suppose to review civil code and crim law but i was too busy playing in facebook playing plants vs. zombie busy watching anime ... gimiks...movie marathon ... tekken PSX. =(i didn't notice im just wasting my time.

seems like im out of motivation.

lawyer is my dream since grade school but i guess this kind of attitude dont deserve to become a lawyer...

if its meant to be, it will be

its not destiny that determines love, it is choice. our so -called destiny is a lie. relationship last long not because they're destined to last..

relationship last long because two brave people made a choice-to keep it, to fight for it and to work for it...

meanwhile other relationship fail not because they're destined to fail... they failed because one of the two or both made the choice to set each other free.

sometimes you need break-up so test if you're meant for each other. sometimes we need to get hurt to learn lesson.

i fight with all i can, i hold on too much, i choose to stay, i cry too much, and believe that there's still hope...

but im hoping for too much thats why i just have to let go because its hurting me.

hahays LYN-LYN GET TIRED...cause its not all the time that i hold on.

i never get tired of loving...but im tired of waiting when i know im just waiting for nothing.

its not that im giving up but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be. and sometimes you have to stop loving the most important person in your life not because the spark is gone, but because the person is unintentionally making you feel worthless no matter how much we like and care for a person, if we are uncertain of our position, there will be a point when the only thing certain is to give up

i just have to save my heart for someone that's worth fighting for

i would never expect i would never aasume and never demand just let it be. because if its meant to be it will happen the way things to be.

...but at the and of the road i ASK MY SELF why am i doing this? do i really love him? and i just realize i DONT love him anymore im doing this with

one simple reason NANHIHINAYANG LANG PALA AKO (grin)

"lyn2 forget about your investment and time wasted if thats the only reason" hehehehe

its time to stop holding on to the people i've lost and start turning to one i have right now

losing someone doesn't hurt you the most. seeing someone you love, loves someone else's hurt you the most.

its hard to forget someone whom youve imagined spending life forever with.but i need to let go a special person i used to keep,mainly because he also

need to find that someone i cant be anymore.

i have to move forward, all i can do is to accept that it happend learn from it and move on!

i have let go of the things that can no longer be fixed because if i pushed to try to put them back,things will only get worst. holding on is brave but

sometimes moving-on makes you even tougher

moving on isn't easy...but many people have done it, so i know i can do it

its time to stop holding on to the people i've lost and start turning to one i have right now

losing someone doesn't hurt you the most. seeing someone you love, loves someone else's hurt you the most.

its hard to forget someone whom youve imagined spending life forever with.but i need to let go a special person i used to keep,mainly because he also need to find that someone i cant be anymore.

i have to move forward, all i can do is to accept that it happend learn from it and move on!

i have let go of the things that can no longer be fixed because if i pushed to try to put them back,things will only get worst. holding on is brave but

sometimes moving-on makes you even tougher

moving on isn't easy...but many people have done it, so i know i can do it

in one single lie you ruin my life

why did it happen that way

because not all mistakes can be forgiven with a simple word "sorry"

i was upset not because you lied im upset because i cant trust you anymore

you never showed that you were scared of losing me.

you always treat me as your option,as your last choice you never treat me as you priority.

just because im here for you all the time,doesn't mean you can take me for granted

i get tired of hearing broken promises, saying sorry and all the hurtings.

so tired to be too possesive its the side-effect of loving too much and receiving too little.

you never learn to value the person who loves you so much.

tired of giving second chances...

how many second chance you need to start treating me right?

ITS TOO LATE TO ASK... (this blog is worthless crap!)

NOTHING

every time you ask what's wrong i only say "NOTHING"

because of privacy or personal space,
or maybe sometimes i really don't know what wrong,
or sometimes i don't want to make my feeling worse,
sometimes i don't want you to worry bout me (just concentrate your review),
sometimes its obvious its all about you,
or i just don't want to talk about it... but most reason why i say nothing

its because I'm tired hearing the lie "it'll be alright"

1 year old draft from my old email add :D

if you notice i haven't email you for a month.
if you notice i haven't buzz you for a week.
if you notice i haven't texted you for a days.
if notice i dont answer your phone calls.
if you notice i change my # without notifying you.
its not because i dont care anymore...


ITS BECAUSE YOU PUSHED ME AWAY.

and if you notice i change the way i treat you...because you also change the way you treat me ;D

lesson

a true soul mate is a person who can change your life.
a true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet.
but to live with a soul mate forever is too painful.
soul mate come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you. and then they leave.
but anyway i can manage to say "GOD THANK YOU"

note: never wish to meet your soul mate

letter i made last march

dear lyn2,

don't give up okay?

i know you've been hurt, i know how it feels.
believe me, I do. but the feeling will pass.
the tears will stop falling, your heart will heal itself.
i promise you it will, so hold on and don't let go.
don't lose hope.
i promise you will find someone who will treat you the right way.
the way he never did.
someone who will never ever leave you the way he did.
he'll be worth the wait, so hang in there because i love you.
and i want you to be happy.


love and care,
LYN-LYN

thats why they call me T-O-B-O-L

I'm a kind of girl who rarely express my true feelings.
who don't show how i love and care to a person.
I'm not a supportive lover who would always say "suportahan kita"
I'm not used to say "i agree with you" because i love arguments.
I'm not a sweet lover who would always say "i love you" and "i miss you"
i hate cuddling moments because if we are alone i love to show my abilities and techniques i learn thru watching wrestling hehe
I'm vain! don't you know the other side of me "bangaw" but i only show it to my love one :D

john Lloyd (not his true name) would always say... your not sweet, your a hardheaded person, stubborn, childish and he always say this word"aralagyamon" but still i love you.

at the early part of relationship i want to show my worst attitude so i would know if he really deserve my BEST.

that's the best way i would know if really love me. if he can handle my worst then he really deserve my best. he should love my worst first before loving my best.

time could tell when to show my good side (hmmm wait! do i have good side?) but im hoping if i show him my good side hope he wont take me for granted just like what happen before (worried) (nail biting)

but then again its not a guarantee that if he deserve your best then that is your Mr. right guy. why?

look at me! my experience was the best example =P

if you guys love him/her because of all the positive traits he/she show then you really don't love him/her.

you don’t have to be perfect to let somebody love you, the way you wanted
to be loved. Always remember showing your worst attitude is the most perfect way
to know if really love you. ;)

supposed to do

it hurts to deal with a broken promise yet, we dont have the right to blame the person who made it.
because sometimes they really tried their best to keep it.
but when destiny comes in the way,no matter how hard they try they have no choice but to break it.

but if someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it even thou DESTINY GIVES UP =(

life is so unfair...

why do i have to meet him if we're not meant for each other?
why do i have to meet a person when their purpose is just to hurt me?
why do some people hurt other feelings just to obtain their happiness?
why are they bless where in fact they're demons in human creature.
why do people leave when they know it could cause pain?


how i wish i could invent a system that would reformat my memory.

through this blog i know you readers would know the grudge I'm holding right now.
i really cursed the day when i meet him.

limits of our fate

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

since then i don't believe in destiny... but i believe in chance and our relationship is a matter of choice. I'm just waiting for the right time but he made that day to be the right time.

if i enter a relationship i always look forward for the future but deep in my heart I'm asking for a sign.

i cant afford to waste my time again that's why I'm asking for a sign. this is not about assurance but this is all about the nightmare i never wish to happen again.

kiss of death

to die is what i want.

since grade school I've been wishing to meet the god of death.
and been wishing to die at a very young age i never wish to reach the age of 40 because I'm really bored of my existence in this world.

all my life I've spend a lot of time sitting on my chair hugging my knees that's why I'm really really BORED.

dont cry because its over, smile because it happened.

as i look back in the past i feel like I'm retard =D

i tie my heart to a person who has nothing to offer me except for the word SORRY.

i was hurt... tears were falling but it was just for a while i was able to get over and i see things were going better. feels like I'm prisoner and now i enjoy my freedom! free from heartaches.

i know if it didn't happen that way MY HEART WOULD BE BROKEN AGAIN AND AGAIN. i was mentally abused, emotionally abandoned and neglected. there was a point in my life i attempted to commit suicide but the moment I'm holding the rope there was a soft voice coming from my heart saying "IF YOU KILL YOURSELF ITS NOT LOVE" and i know it was god...

thank you god! and i wont stop saying thank you LORD! i know losing someone might hurt for a while but now i realize and see all the answers and reasons why it happen that way. thank you because i feel better and i was able to feel the true happiness.

when love is not enough

things happen cause we choose too.
there may be regrets but blaming is not an option.

but i always make sure that i would have no regrets in all the things i would do.

i admit that i hurt him in the past but i don't have regrets in hurting him because things wont happen this way if i didn't let him know what i feel and how it feels like. if i accept all those pains without letting him know that his hurting me too much because of fear of losing him its like I'm leaving on HELL. and i would be broken and wasted forever.

though it was not i intend to do. things happen more than what i expected.

i was hurt and suffer depression for more than a month. i got broken i got wasted but see I'm happy because I'm much better WITHOUT him ;)

and the most important i learn a lesson out from it ;)

irony of life

loving someone has never been wrong except kung alam mo may nasasaktan ka =D

you have no right "magpaka EMO" if it's you who made the choice to have break-up!

im not broken.im not an EMO, i hate being EMO i never been EMO...now lang (wink)

wealth vs. relationship

we always say "behind the success of a man is a woman"

this is my own version "in every success of a man,woman is the sacrifice"


ever heared jc tuiseco...after winning survivor philippines they broke up with his GF. PBB big 5 paul jake they also broke up and there are lots of untold story like this case in showbiz.some also happen if there's an oppurtunity going abroad

filipinos always dreamed going abroad for wealth for the future of there love ones. but this is also the reason why we have increasing broken family in Philippines. is it worthy?

the main reason going abroad is for the future for both of you but this is also the reason why you have to end things up.

and during the hardship in LDR they forget mostly their promises and sometimes chooses wealth over relationship.

ever heared this saying in dialect ika nga
"BISAN GUTOM BASTA HARANI KEYSA BUSOG NA HIRAYO"


in this new generation money is important to other people. but for me LOVE prevails

"FOR RICHER OR FOR POORER IN SICKNESS OR IN HEALTH"

daily dose

watching doraemon and naruto shippuden.

and atlast was able to download doraemon theme song

got new ringtone =P

dear god....

listening to christian song....

"LORD I OFFER MY LIFE TO YOU"
-This song really enlightened me during time of trials...being broken and wasted
-after everything that I've been through oh lord....just knowing you're still beside me I'LL GO THROUGH IT ALL!! guide me always. love you always :))

"GOD WILL MAKE A WAY WHEN THERE SEEMS TO BE NO WAY"
-there a lot of things that hurt me in the past... but i realize that there's no easy way to get out of my miserable life but to hurt me that much... and I'm thankful i was able to survive and to see smile on my face again...thank you lord for saving me from my miserable life in the past.

"LEAD ME LORD"

"Comfort me through all the pain.That life may bring.There's no other hope.That I can lean upon.Lead me Lord Lead me all my life"


"Take my arms and let your hadn.Show me the way.Show the way to live inside your heart.All my days, all my life"

"You are my light.You're the lamb upon my feet.All the time my Lord.I need You there.You are my light I (just) cannot live alone.Let me stay.By Your guiding love.All through my life.Lead me Lord"

"Lead me Lord Even though at times.I'd rather go alone my way.Help me take the right direction.Take Your road Lead me Lord.And never leave my side"
-he really help me to get through all the pains and trials...he lead me the way having a brighter future ;)... the tragic that happen to my life was actually a blessing.



i never thought how blessed i am right now. god is good!

before i used to lived with a man whom i love...my everything...my life but at the same time who makes my life miserable . i even cried the time he make me slip away and i wasn't able to see advantages before...

now i know why it happen that way... god is good! he save me!... do you know the feeling na magaan? there was a saying:

"ang mabigat...gumagaan pagbinibitiwan..."

though i know that's the best way i should do before...but i didn't.

thank you so much...just realize all the good thing happen to me after being broken.

bitter no more... broken and wasted no more... friends w/ JECJEC... lot of thing happen na gumaan life ko...miserable life no more...etc.

GOD is GOOD!

life is too short to stay sad and lonely...

i know i made a mistake...
i did'nt even give a damn explanation.

But everything was over! im starting a new life! new me!

comments i've read:

"--- sowi wa ak kreply ha m wa upod ha ira kay aram na tiupod gad unta kabaro ak may upod na iba wa ak dumayun nala musta ----?"

it hurts me so much reading those comments they even post it on my wall.
are they real friends? why do they act that way?
are'nt they happy that im back!

i even reply to their comments:

"i thought everything was OK? dont you know how much it hurts everytime i reject your phone calls! everytime i ignore your private message and i dont even give a single damn reply to your text message!"

"you should be thankful it was'nt happen to you! being broken and wasted! and all you have to do is to understand your friend!!!"

if im the main reason why dre hira nasipot... i'd rather forget those kind of friends...

they're just a hindrance to my happiness =(

kalagut gud!

thought it would be my stressful week...
thought of lossing everything...


glad to see smile on my face =D

never make me slip away

we've been fighting for almost a week...
different issues and misunderstanding...

i dont intend to hurt him...
just cant give him my best because what was left is my worst :(